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It is approximately one month after my wedding to Peter. Now that I have a few fire-pit-and-wine sessions under my belt, life feels back to normal.

Some things I learned:

A smart and unselfish personal attendant is vital. Mine remembered everything I forgot. She also did this cool thing: she collected 52 interesting postcards and put our new address on the back along with the date of each week over the coming year. The idea is that guests take one postcard, write a memory of the wedding on it, and mail it to us on the appointed week throughout the year. (We have received 4 postcards so far, but not on the corresponding dates.)

We had out wedding on a Friday and thought we would have all day on Saturday to hang with our families, so we planned a picnic for Saturday at noon. This was dumb. We thought we could handle it but we were tired to the bone. Not hung-over tired, but physical exhaustion tired. It was great to see everyone but I was not my best. And actually, I don’t think our guests really wanted to see us again. (We had also planned to have a back-yard fire for our out-of-town friends Sat night, but luckily Mother Nature saved us from ourselves with a thunderstorm.) Seriously: tired.

Wedding photographers are good for more than excellent artwork. They obviously go to a lot of weddings. Let them give you advice. They know how long everything will take: how long guests need to get to the reception; how long a buffet line will take; when the dancing should start. A smoother day for you is a smoother day for them, so ask if they mind reviewing your schedule.

Your friends and family will be indescribably generous. You will receive love in the form of gifts for weeks around your wedding. This feels a little hard to accept and I felt a little undeserving. It is a case of "to whom much is given, much is expected". I feel like my life has been launched in a new trajectory and I now have a lot of tools with which to give back.

The wedding changed my relationship to Peter. Or rather, the commitment. Which seems obvious, but I didn't expect it. This wedding means I am choosing depth of experience over breadth and it is an interesting tension between security and responsibility. Security in that we have time to grow together. Responsibility to spend that time wisely. But, you know, he’s here to help with that.

Thank you for reading this!


Brooke, a client of Lace/Hanky, shares her thoughts about what it is like to be engaged– the good and the bad.
Read more entries from The Engagement Story here.